Monday, August 14, 2006

Dredful Dental Superstitions (DDS)

My first visit to the dentist as a child was so overwhelming that it gave me spots. I was so anxiety ridden that the blood vessels in my face actually burst providing little constellations of purple spots. Dentists were a little "child challenged" in years past and my experience was not entirely unique. The experience was foundational in developing my rather Pavlovian response every time I go to the dentist - fear. I still practice the habit of mentally and physically preparing myself as I lean back in the dull green vinyl chair: (1) Hands at the edge of the arm rest - not cliched but slightly clawed. (2) Breathing steady and through my nose. (3) Muscles relaxed and (4) some small talk with the Dentist before he begins.

So when Friday morning came and I thought about Nathaniel's appointment I concerned myself with the primary element in preparing him: ambiguity. Fortunately Janice had worked with Nathaniel all morning. Janice is on the other side of the spectrum and still wonders what a cavity feels like. When she sits back in the dentist's chair they loose money. When I step across the threshold calendars flip open for pre-vacation planning at some prestigious resort in the Bahamas. Dentist's love me. I am sure there was a nod of satisfaction when word came that I had 3 children along with a prayer for genetic cloning. Janice had prepared Nathaniel well and he was elated to be going to the dentist with daddy. I had a cleaning scheduled after his. We walked in and he could not sit still as anticipation washed over him. He was at the Dentist with Daddy! I was sweating like a pack of defrosting meat sitting alone on the kitchen counter.

His name was called and we walked back. A jovial hygienist guided us to room with a dull green chair. Nathaniel walked slowly his eyes taking in all the machines, cords and instruments placed methodically around the room. He sat in the chair and the hygienist slowly guided him as he leaned back and clipped a paper bib under his chin. She looked over and reminded me of Janice's request to take a picture. We snapped a couple shots with the suction tube dangling from Nathaniel's grinning mouth. I was still sweating. As a parent you wonder if your children can see through you or if they trust you so much that some things go right over there heads. He was so proud and genuinely happy to be atop that gleaming green chair with daddy watching him. He was oblivious to my concerns. Initially the x-ray was a slight source for concern but that faded as it was only a click and a whrr from a really cool camera. And to my surprise they actually cleaned his teeth with metal picks and electronic brushes. I was under the impression they were going to tickle his teeth a bit with some silly toothbrush, we would all laugh and they would ask for a second appointment. When she reached for the pick I could feel the chill of the A/C against the back of my sweat soaked shirt. As she started scratching at his teeth he frowned with curiosity and his nose wrinkled at the taste of the gritty green gel on the electronic toothbrush. But he was at the dentist with daddy cheering for him and all was good.

After he swooshed and spit out some fluoride in a paper cup for the slightly apprehensive hygienist (she thought he might swallow it) the Dentist came and shook his hand. The Dentist made a quick investigation and pronounced his teeth in good health. My shoulders relaxed. When presented with the toy box Nathaniel thoughtfully choose a specific toy for each person in the family. I got a blue plastic frog.

It was a good day and as I passed a mirror in the dentist's office I noticed something. No purple spots.